Willard Shares “Helpful Reads” for Parents in Each Division

At the Sept. 12 Parents’ Association meeting, Head of School Derrick Willard joined PA co-president Sean Marlowe for a Q&A with attendees, during which he shared some book recommendations for parents and guardians in each division. Here, he expands on that list.

This year is a fresh start for me as the new Head of School at Ravenscroft. It is also a fresh start for your students. I am very mindful that you as parents and guardians will also face new experiences as your children move up a grade or division and into new stages of development. 

We all come to this parenting journey with a range of skills and a variety of mentors. How does one get this right? It is hard. Each stage of life brings different challenges you must face. We want to be good partners with you in this journey.

Through my 29 years in education, I have found some helpful reads that have informed my practice as a professional and as a parent of two independent school graduates. In the spirit of the Ravenscroft vision that we “nourish meaningful and supportive relationships,” I thought I would offer you some “homework” tailored to your student’s age and stage.  

Lower School

First, consider “The Blessing of a Skinned Knee: Using Timeless Teachings to Raise Self-Reliant Children” by Wendy Mogel. This  classic by the well-published clinical psychologist leans on the wisdom of Jewish teachings and is wonderful advice for folks from any ethnic or religious persuasion (I promise, as I have heard her speak twice). If that title does not pique your interest, then consider “Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children From Nature-Deficit Disorder” by Richard Louv. While I am not sure I subscribe to his hypothesis of “nature-deficit disorder,” I do admire his analysis of the factors of modern life that tend to keep our kids indoors — and the potential impacts that has on children.

Clockwise from top left: Willard poses on his first day of school at Ravenscroft; Willard joins PA co-president Sean Marlowe for a Q&A at the Sept. 12 meeting; Willard reads “Pajamas” to students in the PreK Learning Center.

Middle School

This may seem a stretch, but I recommend you read “How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success” by Julie Lythcott-Haims. A former Dean of Freshmen at Stanford University, Lythcott-Haims draws on her experiences with students and parents/guardians as well as research to caution against “overparenting.” I have heard her speak, and she presents simple advice to prepare your child to self-advocate and learn sufficiency long before you send them off to college. If that title seems too far away, then try “8 Setbacks That Can Make a Child a Success” by Michelle Icard. I just heard her speak about this book at the Southern Association of Independent Schools Annual Conference. I really love her approach to helping our teens learn from failures and cross the threshold into adulthood with some poise and grace. 
 

Upper School

Well, you are near or in the thick of the college-match journey. I really feel your angst, as I have traveled this road with my two college graduates. Please consider the classic “Colleges That Change Lives: 40 Schools That Will Change the Way You Think About Colleges” by Loren Pope. Have you or your student already plotted the one path to one choice? If so, I challenge you to read this book and investigate options you may not have ever considered. After reading this book, my wife and I encouraged our son to visit a few of the colleges featured in it, and he found a perfect fit. Or consider the newer title “Where You Go Is Not Who You’ll Be: An Antidote to the College Admissions Mania” by Frank Bruni. This book will give you a great perspective on how the process has changed (and been corrupted) over the last two decades. Since its writing, Supreme Court rulings have further complicated the college admissions process  that you yourself may have experienced. Having survived two college searches, I encourage you to prepare yourself to ease anxieties your student(s) will face as they try to find a best fit. By “best fit,” I mean the two or three places they and you think they will thrive. (Learn more about how our very own College Counseling Department supports our students in this process in this June 2024 Ravenscroft Magazine story, College Counseling Helps Families “Find the Right Fit”!)

So, again I challenge you to take on some homework yourself this year and reach out to your respective division head(s) for support as needed.

Hey, we are all in this together!

Best,

Derrick